From Isolation to Connection: Using the Prosocial Matrix to Build Better Relationships

Why do I share this?

Honestly, I ask myself that question a lot. Because talking about this stuff, out loud, publicly, feels really challenging.

But then I look around and see how much people struggle, alone and in relationships. And I feel this deep urge to say:

It’s okay. We struggle. It’s part of being human.

What I also want to share is that we don’t have to struggle alone.

When we talk about the hard stuff, when we stop pretending everything’s fine and start seeing each other in the midst of it, something shifts. The weight lightens. There’s a sense of relief in realising you’re not the only one carrying a lifetime of difficulties.

And that’s the thing, you’re not alone.

THIS ISN’T therapy. IMO, this is community. It’s a life skill, the art of noticing how we feel and learning how to share that in meaningful ways.

We live in a world that’s more connected than ever through screens but somehow feels more disconnected than ever in real life. I don’t think I’m the only one who notices this.

And yet, we can do something in the midst of it.

Enter the ACT & Prosocial Matrix.

I discovered the ACT Matrix about 15 years ago, and honestly? It flipped my world upside down.

Before that, I was stuck in autopilot mode, reacting instead of responding, feeling stuck in patterns that weren’t working but not really knowing how to shift them.

Then someone introduced me to this simple framework that helped me take a step back, notice my own patterns, and choose differently.

It wasn’t about fixing myself. It was about seeing myself more clearly.

And that’s exactly what the Prosocial Matrix helps us do, not just for ourselves, but in our relationships. It gives us a way to navigate the tricky parts of being human, with more awareness, more choice, and ultimately, more connection.

It helps us:

✔ See clearly what gets in the way of connection (hello, fear and avoidance)

✔ Step out of stuck relational & behavioural loops

✔ Move from reactivity to intentional action

✔ Strengthen self-awareness & relational intelligence

And here’s the thing…

The more I sit with this, the more I realise that building better relationships isn’t about never struggling, it’s about knowing how to move through it.

It’s about noticing when we’re caught in fear and avoidance. It’s about learning how to pause before reacting. It’s about choosing connection, even when it feels hard.

I don’t have all the answers. But I do know this:

👉 We need to reconnect to community.

👉 We need spaces where we can be real with each other.

👉 And we need ways of navigating connection that don’t leave us stuck in fear, avoidance, or old habits that aren’t working.

That starts with simply noticing.

And maybe, just maybe, showing up for one another in ways that matter.